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Barrens Chat
Barrens Chat is the best chat in Kongregate history. Welcome to Barrens Chat: Home of the exalted trolls. Mature conversations (read: immature conversations about mature subjects) and epic trolling abound. Children and failtrolls need not apply. Barrens Chat is named, of course, after the World of Warcraft. Don't come in asking if anyone here plays WoW. It shows that you are a newfag, something you don't want to be. We are home to a variety of people, the trolls, lurkers, a few nice ones, and some we all love to hate. Barrens has a history, but out with the old and in with the new. You can still it find lower down the page if you want to nostalgia. Regs CommanderSanta: Barrens one and only accepted Mod. Known for his epic tinychats. Suiseiseki: The original name was b&, but lives on through alts. He is, what every troll strives to be. Stalcloud: MILF who fluctuates between saccharine sweet and spectacularly shitty. Mindhacker: Don't bother running, you'll only die tired. Kehbzy: .ll. *Siamese penis* Chuck_N: Likes him some scene chicks. XxJuDaSxX: We can get raped more than any of you. *Cheers* Franzen: A brilliant man with quick wit and an even temper. 11_toes: Really has 11 toes...one of the good guys...most of the time. KristieMJM: Sweet Canadian girl who is always friendly to everyone. iamtheholyone: Proficianado of the Rubik's Cube. Also, The Game. Sparky_Baker: His clever repartee and witty retorts will leave you un-known to the fact you just got pwned. Boometh: Rupees. I'm level 24 because I don't try. LazyDevil: Trust issues + Internet = The complete and total opposite of gullible. XCrackinupX: LazyDevils awesome girlfriend. This girl will put you in your place in a heartbeat. Barrywise: Stays busy with his highschools swimming and baseball teams. No stalkers please. animaniacz: Self-admitted attention whore who doesn't show tits. xFreakx: Bodybuilder and part time troll. MnMz4L1F3: Doesn't give a fu*k. Gwenhwyfar: Know more about metal than any of you, so don't bother arguing with her. live4love: live4love: Not your everyday Barrener. Kind and gentle. Just don't make her angry. vucadby: EPIC lurker. RaptorJawsus: Tycholarfero: Outbreak911: John the Bassist. Jujitsu788: Will kick your ass. Ayrus: Ayrus is Ayrus and nothing more. Dabestman: Make it sexy. Yoshifuzz: bobbert4ever: Jarjojo408: RurouniGoldeye: chewmungadunga: Barrens rapist :D Jezuz: WildWolfofDark: Ex Barreners and old regs KingKyd: Aven13: evilpixie: Bassium: UBERxL33T: Wahoowarrior: Fox2: Joboman: Crump12: supyo11: Sheensghost: maladon: DTKSilhouette: HGunner_70: CodehIsBeast: Azated: Pallyman: ktrout42: ilytrisha: Karfolian: bert1432: The_Last_Gamer: The_Game_Screen: FirstBlood610: Ryanglavin: CJCommando: Exodus On the First day, Greg said "Let there be Kongregate. And avast, there was Kong. On the Second day, Greg said "Let there be games, that users might play to gain points and fame." And there were games. On the Third day, Greg said "Let there be chatrooms, so users might converse and Kongregate together." And there were chatrooms. On the Fourth day, Greg said, "Let there be forums, so users might post their art or thoughts to the community at large" And there was forums. On the Fifth day, Greg said, "Let there be Moderators, to keep the sinners in line" And there was moderators. On the Sixth day, Greg said, "Let there be Barrens Chat, the greatest of all realms, and here i will create my* people" And there was chat. On the Seventh day, Greg slept in. But since the idea was incomplete, decided to invent jewgold kreds, a way of bleeding Kongregans of all they had, and in return, giving them a children's card game that isn't about Egypt. *Greg never stops by here. The story that formed Barrens The Beginning It all started one day on....uhh, I forgot. But uhm, after Greg invented Barrens Chat, people came to it. A few people stayed by, but others saw of it as nothing special. Maybe because all that anyone talked about was the mine glitch. Some people became Barrens regulars. Mostly: *KingKyd *Aven13 *Nicklol *Locomikey666 I observed most of the Barrensgoing. Actually really, I kinda just played "Nuclear Eagle" or something. Later in September, I made an account. I hung there. Somehow I became prince or something. Speaking of which, Some other person who stayed a guest in Barrens forever made an account. Her name was "Queenoflands". So if I was a prince, doesn't that make me their "product"? I don't know. I really doubt it. Anyway, that aside, Queeroflands eventually left Barrens. Something like that. After that, Aven13 decided he'd suicide. He will always be missed. Somehow that made Barrens get more people. I don't think it's because he died, though. But well, more people coming, that included trolls. At the time, Barrens never knew that people actually ran on trolls. So we got pretty annoyed by them. With trolls, there were stronger trolls. The pwners. The pwners were like, without a better way to put it, the enemy kingdom of Barrens Chat. It was ran by KingKyd's mortal nemesis, MindHacker. MindHacker never actually did smash into people's heads using an axe, but well, he kinda just..yeah. Now in 2010, he barely shows up here, but he's not a troll, so it's all good. MindHacker kinda teared down the Kingdom though. Eventually, he managed to make the kingdom retarded. So retarded, they kicked KingKyd off the throne he was never on. Well really, KingKyd was self proclaimed. I mean, no one else wanted to rule The Land of The Mine Glitch. The community of Barrens, being stupid now, recruited dinner, an egg, for a leader. I guess the Barrens throne is what all true warriors strive for. Eventually, we fried the egg. Kyd got back on the throne. I decided to find a better use for my time, and went around Kongregate in search for a tutor for the art of Spaghetti Sorcery, that of which I've benefited from. ~Boometh The Dying I had just arrived as the golden age died. (See above chapter) What I remember? Barrens was a desolate place, only those faithful in the god Greg and goddess Alison stayed as the Barrens withered and died. The room was continously bombarded with chatnukes to the point of multiple modcalls. Also, people would spam filter evasion and reply chatnukes with counter-chatnukes. Then, eventually chemotherapy of the chat. The trolls died out and the Barrens inhabitants began to repopulate the chat. ~Jujitsu788 The Villain Around 2009, Barrens Chat still had trolls, and it always will. Now, we know that Barrens benefits from trolls, but at the time, we didn't know that. It was horrible. No, really, it was. The trolls died down, but that was only to grow and become harder, better, faster, stronger trolls. Trolls started pouring in by some weird formations. I guess they really cared about the way they looked, and thus, our scouts told us they seemed to line up like this: ▲ ▲▓ Trolls can't triforce It just wouldn't end. Barrens has a relatively small defense team at the time (What was KingKyd thinking?!). We couldn't do much, but we did the best we could to push back the force that was the troll army. Eventually, we came faced with the commander of the trolls himself, Marbles_312. He was too 1337 to be a troll, he was just a n00b. Barrens almost never got n00bs, we figured trolls couldn't get good enough training, and that n00bs were extinct. But no. Well, he found a way to get around the army, under the cunning disguise that is Marbles_313. (Oh dear, that's so clever, how would anyone have such a gifted mind like that? I could never come up with that!) Well then we (Fox2, Karfolian, and I) decapitated the n00b, and put it out of our minds. Eventually, The King came up with a realization he really should have gotten before, that he didn't know his neighbors. Well, and then nothing happened. Peace was restored to Barrens, so I kinda just tried to advance the army of Barrens. Kyd wasn't here most of the time, so we tried to recruit an army for Barrens. We obtained a small army of anti-trolls. And with that, Barrens stayed the way it was. ~Boometh The Vision Barrens stayed the way it was for way too long. We came to the conclusion that Kyd stopped showing up, but well, at that moment he started coming back. Marbles tried to hang out in Barrens, but everyone refused to talk to him. He'd always only say "hi boometh" because he thought that he could blame his brother for the villianous deeds of Marbles_312. Obviously not. No one would talk to him, he says, probably because everyone has him muted, I say? Well, one eventful night, I had a vision. Barrens started to speak to me. He told me something, he said something along the lines of "U MAH RIYT HAND LOL". I wasn't sure if I should tell Barrens, so I said "Barrens, I have something to say." Everyone stopped talking about music, and looked at me. I said, "Uhm...thegamelol" Barrens told me to tell them, so then I instantly told them. Then he told me to relay his words to the chat. He then said, "Boometh is to be my right hand of the chat, my voice to Barrens Chat, the piece of me that goes to the generic Barrens civilian. I believe Boometh would be very good at that, seeing as he is known in the Barrens Chat community." "I also think there is to be a Wise Sage of Barrens Chat, someone who is all-knowing and very intelligent. I think it should be LazyDevil." "There should be master that stands out in the army, a "hero" if you will. But if I will, it is to be an eradicator of n00bs. His name is MnMz4L1F3." "Lastly, there is to be a villian, someone to be against the community of Barrens. Most people dislike this person, and I can see why, desu most people have him muted. He seems to be just the kind of guy who would revolt against Barrens, and he's pretty revolting himself. I think it should be Suiseyseku, er, Suweesosuki, erm, something. I don't know his name better than you do, okay?" After this strange vision, Barrens Chat actually started speaking to the whole chat. I kinda went AFK at the time but he said something about a demon coming to Barrens. We can only wait for the day to smite him. Or her. Something tells me it's gonna be a her, a lot of the female Barrenners dislike me. And then, everyone got a Red Bull he left. The chat shut up for awhile. Nothing really happened. ~Boometh The Sign Barrens continued on as it has in the past, and it was just a typical day in the land. KingKyd visited Barrens and told everyone off for not saying hello to him. Everyone proceeded to carry on with their conversations, but there was a dark force afoot. Pwnyourface, enemy of KingKyd, arrived in Barrens and insulted Kyd for apparently being young and other sexual things. As usual, everyone took sides, and proceeded to flame the other side with various idiotic comments about their sexuality. KingKyd, however, stood above the chaos and commented that Pwnyourface was the demon that was coming to Barrens. Boometh and I thought otherwise, as Pwnyourface did not appear to be civilized and sophisicated enough to be able to have the power to destroy Barrens. He did however, cause a bit of a ruckus in Barrens, so we all have to give credit to the troll. After cleaning up Pwn's mess, I began to wonder what exactly is coming to Barrens after all. Using my notes and overall research on Trolls, I discovered that there is a high possibility of a Troll King coming to Barrens. Naturally, I asked my fellow colleague Boometh, as he has also dealt with trolls before. We agreed that a Troll King is indeed coming and we thought of how to vanquish this threat. Obviously, we needed stronger Knights, which Boometh is currently working on. I am devising a plan to defend Barrens, as it will likely be a long assault on the chat. After that, we just talked about last night's televised events and the Gamestop conspiracy. ~Sheensghost The Betrayal Barrens had lost it's cool, and broken under the pressure of /G/amestop. More advertisements appeared to warp one's mind about Kreds. The Knights of Barrens were giving up hope on Kongregate. Many people were down about Kongregate's recent decision, but none more than Boometh, and after his colleague's choice of aspiring to become Barrens' best mod, Boometh is broken. LazyDevil wants to change Barrens for the better. What do you get if you cross Stalcloud and Boometh? Crystal Meth. What do you get if you cross a group of whores and a helicopter? A BROFLCOPTER! SOISOISOISOISOISOI What did David Draiman say as his shower got unexpectedly hot? Oh WAHAHAHA What do you get if you cross an infection, a helicopter, and a woman? A BLUE WAFLCOPTER! ~LazyDevil The Excrutiatingly Painful Boredom Why does the whole kingdom of Barrens share one journal? I don't know. It lacks privacy. I mean that's what a journal is for, right? Oh, well, at least it eliminates the problem of wanting to read someone else's diary-alike, since we kinda have to. Barrens has died. Completely. Remember the golden age? Oh, man, that stuff was frickin' awesome. No noobs, no retards, no 16 year old girls, no emos, no sparkly vampires, no cuddlefests. Sure, the only thing anyone talked about was Platform Racing 1, but man, that was great. So why do I miss it so much!? I guess the problem is now, there's nothing to look forward to. I doubt a troll king is coming. I doubt anything is coming! It's been months. I powerleveled the Knights (NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAND), and nothing has happened yet. Someone has to feel me, here. I was over-buffed for Barrens' last stand, right? The final battle with the troll army, one fight to change everything for the better or worse. And then nothing. Like I said though, Barrens has died. All the Knights are giving up hope on Barrens. Kongregate had began withering, for all that mattered to them now was Kreds, and their strange children's card game. Goddamnit. Gamestop has ravaged the mansion of Kongregate (Yes, Kongregate is a mansion, think about some of the room names) and turned everyone into a currency-driven freak. Although, sure, it wouldn't be a mansion without money, Jewgold matters to the staff more than ever! Back in 2007, Kongregate could pay for itself. To make matters worse, Greg doesn't come here any more. He's practically forgotten about us, probably. Where's our Greg? What has happened?! This sucks. ~Boometh The End Okay, it's official. Barrens is dead. Nothing of importance is happening. The "Monarchy" of Kyd and Stal has ended. Dude... Think Barrens as The Capital Wasteland, or the Mojave Wasteland. It really has gone to shit. No one important goes on or contributes. It's just... troll-ridden. At the very least, Gamestop has eased off a bit. Oh, and if anyone wants anything shopped for an avatar or the like, please feel free to ask. I getz reallllll bored sometimes. ~LazyDevil Sheensghost's fanfic Chapter One: Introductions There was once a user who dubbed himself as Sheensghost. He was formally known as Sheen by his friends and colleagues. He came about a few years ago. He spawned in Barrens Chat, the land of Greg. Being a new player, he found it hard to communicate with the other members. KingKyd was friendly to him, and thus a new friendship was born. Sheen eventually became friends with the regulars and went on to become a regular himself. Some of the more prominent friends in those early days was Boometh, KingKyd, Nicklol, and SevenofSpades, though he prizes all his friends equally. Barrens Chat in those days was destructive, though there was a certain sense of order and law as well. KingKyd and Queenoflands ruled over this kingdom, with Boometh as the prince. There were several princesses, however, and Boometh found himself in an awkward position. Indeed, it was a joyful time in Barrens, even though there were several trolls that passed by and attacked. No matter, there were a few moderators dedicated to guarding the chat. All was well in these days. However, peace could only last for so long. Chapter Two: MindHacker MindHacker came to Barrens and was involved in a battle with the fair King of Barrens. As a dedicated member of Barrens, Sheen immediately rose with his allies and fought the deadly forces of MindHacker and his trolls. It was in this fight that Sheen learned how to utilize the power of roleplaying, which proved to be effective in the future. He magically pulled a sword to his hand, blocking a strike from a troll quickly and countering. Magic is a useful tool, but it has dire consequences when used without concentration. Sheen felt himself falling, but lightly, very lightly. He began to see darkness, as if he was sleeping. After drawing his reserved power in his veins, he revitalized himself and awoke. He found himself on the floor of the inn. He walked around and asked for news of the king. Everyone said, "The King and Queen have fallen." At the same time? Barrens' Defence Force (BDF) The BDF is similar to the FBI and the CIA during the Golden Age. But what really makes us different from the other defence force found in other chat rooms is becaue how we trust our allies, how we organize and use of our defences and power (Man, Fire, and Troll-power). NOTE: All of this information here are during the Golden Age of Barrens. Since the lost of Barrens, only a few of these exsist.... Branches: -BCSET : Barrens Chat Special Elite Taskforce; The Imfamouse Taskforce of Barrens. -Intelligence Division - 109 : CIA of Barrens. No Secret Agent Assassins though. :( '' -TrollForce : regulates the number of trolls in Barrens. Like the Dept. of Foreign Affairs in real life. Each branch has its specific duty to guard, protect, defend Barrens from oppressors. Each branch have Universal Units and Exclusive Units. Units will be named below. Universal Units: -Peacemakers : Like the UN Peacekeepers in real life. No basic or advance training. -Grunt Trolls : Basic Trolls or Users of each Branch. Good Aim. Average Morality -Guerilla/Volunteer Trolls : Trolls consist of volunteers or former blacklisted furries. The Volunteers are weak, but strong in numbers. The Blacklists are supposed to belong to the SpecOpsDev in the BCSET, but due to their records, they're not trustworthy. Morality issue, depends on the scenario. Exclusive Units: Each unit will be label on what Branch/Branches does it work for. -Loyal Trolls (TrollForce) : Veteran Trolls that came from the Great War. Highly respected. -Scouts(ID-109, BCSET) : Highly Trained Scouts born to stalk, observe, and report unnoticed. They're not the usualy Boy and Girl Scouts you see. But the inspiration to make such troope was because of Lord Baden Powell. -TaskForce 141(BCSET all the way) : ''Yes, taken from the famous fps game, Modern Warfare 2. Well, the story is located in the full story and description of BCSET. "The description is the same with the Modern Warfare 2" said The Director of BCSET. They were famous because the TaskForce sort of repelled the Mutes. -Mercenaries(ID-109) : Hired users to do jobs that Scouts can't. ''Only the giving information. ''Though, sometimes they can't be trusted because they always go to the highest bidder. -Locusts(BCSET, TrollForce) : Consist of Moderators and Kongregate Staff members that are picked by the Director himself. The branches that they're assigned to says it all. Category:Chat rooms Category:Chat rooms with room owners